Title: Still Standing [Chapter Ten]

Rating: R for language, sexual scenes, and medical themes

Pairing: Klaine

Summary: Blaine and Kurt are finally living the dream. Well…if the dream is living in the overcrowded apartment with Santana and Rachel and hardly seeing each other due to their crazy NYADA schedules. Then Blaine gets sick and everything changes.

Disclaimer: All Glee things are Glee's.

( “Coop? Can I talk to you?”Collapse )

And it's that I can't get enough sandwiches. My kids are calling me Joey Tribiani, because I - Look, I just really like a good sandwich, okay? Then you crisp it up in a panini press, and it just takes it to 11 and yeah. My kids told me last night that they are NOT having sandwiches for dinner any more this week. HEY I AM AT LEAST CHANGING THEM UP, WHY DO YOU KIDS SUCK?

Whatever, I'll eat one for my lunch. (Brie, blueberries and strawberries, balsamic, basil leaves on challah bread. Again. Because it's just.that.damn.good.)

ION, I think I might have to Tumblr Savior Dylan O'Brien and Tyler Hoechlin from my feed, because I cannot deal with their faces. It's possible that I am needing to be the meat in that sandwich. THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT. Really. I have no life. ION 2, I realized that I'm not getting enough calories after dl an app on my phone to track my workouts, etc., and HA! Like, to the tune of needing another 700 calories, which explains why I've been feeling lethargic lately. You know what this means, of course.

Poll #1914672 what does this mean?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 61

do you know what this means?

Random statement time!

I feel strongly that I need to get into the show Hannibal. I also feel strongly that I am not going to be able to deal with the new season of Teen Wolf given how I am freaking over the promo. (I almost feel like it's spoiled the whole season for me, in a weird way.)

SANDWICH TIME.

I've heard from crazydiamondsue on her FB page, so if any of y'all don't follow her there, she's fine, her home/family are all safe. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it's about the two mile wide tornado that touched down in OKC about an hour ago. Winds of 200 MPH, which is something like forty squillion in metric, I can't remember the conversion.

We've been fortunate over the years to live in Tornado Alley and not be touched by any [knocks on wood] but I remember tornadoes on the street outside our front door, another one in the playground of my elementary school.

But those were Wizard of Oz tiny twisters ["It's a twistah! It's a twistah!" Never did understand that Bronx boy farming in Kansas...] and this one from today is like the CGI affair at the end of that stupid movie, "Twister." And these aren't CGI.

Is this what it's going to take to get the hardliners in the Flyover States to accept that the bunk they've been fed about global warming has been wrong? Gah.

Blah blah game of thrones on HDJM blah. I'm going to make sure our tornado shelter has what we need, just in case. Man, the one that hit DFW a few days ago gave the locals something like one minute to hear the siren before it hit, it formed so fast.

I got a gift certificate to Williams Sonoma for Christmas, and finally put it to use a few weeks ago (I have issues with spending money on myself, in that I don't. I don't know what's wrong with me, either), I got a high-end panini press after dithering over whether it would be a one-note sort of thing (like a tortilla press or a banana slicer. WHY DO PEOPLE NEED THOSE THINGS? Hint: they don't.)

SO I LOVE THE PANINI PRESS. LIKE, A LOT. It's also a grill, it's cast iron on the inside, so it heats up to almost 500F, it has a floating hinge so you don't pulverize your sandwiches or steaks or whatever you're grilling. I've not put it away in over a week. The kids find it super easy to use, it cleans up well, boom, I love it.

LAST NIGHT I MADE THE MOST DELICIOUS SANDWICH IN THE WORLD.

STEP ONE: cut a hole in the box In a medium hot skillet, a drizzle of olive oil and a sliced onion (I used a yellow). Slowly caramelize those bad boys until they make you weep with wanting.
ALTERNATE STEP TWO: Add sliced fresh figs (I didn't have these, you'll see what I did in a minute)
STEP TWO: put your junk in that box Drizzle some fabulous balsamic vinegar over those onions and stir it up (little darlin', stir it up). The vinegar and left over oil (if any) should get a little syrupy. This can be called the food of the gods.
STEP THREE: you thought I'd say make her open the box, didn't you? Well, I didn't. Turn off the heat and set this aside, plug in your panini maker (or get another skillet going)

SANDWICH: ASSEMBLE!
on some good rustic bread slices layer: goat cheese, fig jam (if you're super fond of figs and want to double up then you should, other wise pick the alternate up there or this), caramelized onion mix, prosciutto slices (or thick bacon would be stellar), and cover that sumbitch up with another slice of bread

SANDWICH: GRILL!
Yeah, do that. A few minutes, or until the bread's all toasty and the cheese is all melty and your mouth is all watery. Pull it off, slip in some fresh arugula, slice that mother trucker in half, and CONSUME.

I sang this to my sandwich, you may pick the song of your choosing but you must sing to it. "I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your figs to your Os, and I wanna move from the plate down to-down-to-the-to-the floor and I wanna AH! AH! You taste so good I don't wanna eat, but you gotta le-le-le-let me cook-cook on this pa-ni-ni-NI!"

So that happened. I feel not one ounce of shame or regret. LIVING LIFE IN A CORRECT MANNER.

(Tomorrow I am making challa bread, brie, blueberries, strawberries, balsamic and basil leaves. GOOD LORD I LOVE THIS THING.)

Title: Still Standing [Chapter Nine]

Rating: R for language, sexual scenes, and medical themes

Pairing: Klaine

Summary: Blaine and Kurt are finally living the dream. Well…if the dream is living in the overcrowded apartment with Santana and Rachel and hardly seeing each other due to their crazy NYADA schedules. Then Blaine gets sick and everything changes.

Disclaimer: All Glee things are Glee's.

( So, Pauline said that without a transplant there is almost a one hundred percent chance of fatality in the next few monthsCollapse )

I have cilantro growing strictly for the ladybugs. It's a great host plant for baby-making and baby-raising. The suburbs of the garden, if you will. (And you will.) Side note: I hate cilantro. Yes, I know about the genetics, blah blah soap, it's gross but someone I'm sure loves it, blah. Also, MILD INSECT PR0N IN THE LOWER RIGHT CORNER. (hahaha)

I failed to mention that the upper left critter is the ladybug baby (larva).



Now I'm making Transformer noises. (IDK, ladybug larva look like Autobots to me.) Nope, I'm singing Ladybugs Picnic. :D

*sits around telling knock-knock jokes*

Thanks to those who participated in the poll yesterday, including those that said they were NOT interested in my show. (And I can't help it, I have to laugh at the complete stranger who voted NOPE who has never set foot in my LJ before. Research is research, right? Right.)

Also live JOURNAL = the use of the word journal does not make us journalists. Unless you have a degree in journalism, in which case you obviously are one. But I still hold that LJ didn't make you a journalist. /bi-annual reminder that I'm just a person trying to make people laugh for the most part and should not be taken seriously

...unless I'm talking plants. Then you should. :)

AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T DIE FROM PORKING A WASP'S NEST. 140+ stings, 54 of them on his wang.

WARNING ABOUT THAT LINK: a man grabs a handful of wasps before the story starts and I am covered in hives just from that.

YOU KNOW, THAT IS ENOUGH, PEOPLE. That is just freaking enough. Honestly? I think there needs to be MORE OF THIS HAPPENING to thin the herd. This is mother nature's way of culling the flock, this I believe.

Hey, guys! I thought I had a rough morning, and now I'm too shocked and baffled to remember what the hell even caused my frustration. Sounds like I need to eat a plate of French fries and have some cheesecake because LIFE IS SHORT. Especially when you poke your hose where it doesn't belong.

Fun fact: I am DEATHLY allergic to wasps. I'm very allergic to bees, but wasps can kill me. I almost died when I was a kid when four yellow jackets stung my shoulder and I went into cardiac arrest and my throat closed up. I AM A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT THIS STORY. And also I am laughing, because that man clearly needed to die.
Poll #1913609 Quick Looksee Into Who Would Be Interested
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 64

If Laura was to have a weekly/bi-weekly online chat where she answered gardening questions, I would

When in need:

but this is how many of you remember to come to HDJM and read all of the awesome writing there. (Hannibal continues to be CRAZY popular, which is awesome.) I'm proud of all of my girls, for sure. <3

Game of Thrones is here, btw, and it took me FOREVER to get it done because I am a total drag-ass today.

Instead of complaining, I will simply point you to this amazing post on TUMBLR (read the comments below the quote) and say that it's just wonderful to see people get that. It took me a while to get that (it took me having teenagers, honestly) and seriously, nothing has been pissing me off more in fandom that seeing people write boys saying that when they're doing something perceived as negative (or simply emotional) that they're being like a "little girl."

My girls love what they love, and don't know that they shouldn't love it. Them feeling passionately about their interests shouldn't be seen as being less important or valuable as a teenage boy loving baseball or cars or whatever. How ridiculous. STOP SAYING THINGS ARE LIKE A GIRL/GIRLY IN A NEGATIVE WAY. It's weak, it makes you look like an asshole, and you're a huge part of the problem females everywhere face.

There's no such thing as "I'm not one of those girls." Because there's a bunch of girls that say THAT, so you're one of THEM. And you're someone that is siding with misogyny when you do say that, by the way.

LET PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE. It doesn't take anything away from YOU if someone likes something you don't. (Unless it's liking your things once they're out of your possession. In that case, it absolutely takes away from you.) :)

Title: Still Standing [Chapter Eight]

Rating: R for language, sexual scenes, and medical themes

Pairing: Klaine

Summary: Blaine and Kurt are finally living the dream. Well…if the dream is living in the overcrowded apartment with Santana and Rachel and hardly seeing each other due to their crazy NYADA schedules. Then Blaine gets sick and everything changes.

Disclaimer: All Glee things are Glee's.

( Blaine startled awake when his cell phone buzzed loudly on the bedside table.Collapse )